Thursday, April 13, 2006

Behind a Successful Man There is a Woman

Do you familiar with that saying?
"Behind a Successful Man There is a Woman".

Some feminists may not be happy with this phrase. For them, it is gender biased and putting women's roles not as important as those of men. I disagree with that kind of narrow mentality. Anyway, I am not interested to discuss in this line further.

For me, this is really a respect to all women. Women who play their roles right behind, adjacent and along with their beloved partners in life - the husbands.

Allah s.w.t. has created many things in the universe, in pair. Women are created for men, and vice versa. They are complimenting to and supporting each other. For those of us who are the believers fo God as the creator of mankind, this is the most precious gift - for both healthy and natural men and women.

In fact, in the current hectic life in modern age, where both men and women are struggling to survive in this challenging world, they can also be the success factor to each other.

They are motivating each other, and becoming the source of strength and support to each other. This is compounded for a married couple, whose family will become another factor that drive the motivation and reasons to be successful in life.

Hence, we can also say that, behind a successful couple or partners in life, there is a family.

I say this not from hearsay, but from my own experience. I have a beloved wife and big family. They are all my source of happiness, strength, support and motivation to work and strive harder for the betterment.

That's already a success. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah s.w.t.).


Consistency - One of Many Qualities Leading to Success

Suddenly, my well known blogging friend jolted me with a striking question, "Have you blogged recently?" He reminded again, "you need to be consistent and have discipline."

That's really a valuable reminder for me on that particular day. He reminded me of 2 things - consistency and discipline.

Lately, due to my hectic schedule and activities on the ground in my office, together with another busy activities in my NGO life, I have failed to adhere to my own planning to write 1 article a day in my blog. I have failed to be consistent in contributing my thought through my blog. It has not been easy to maintain consistency in many things in life.

One online dictionary defines "consistency" as "harmony of conduct or practice with profession", or, "firmness of character". Essentially, to be consistent is to have a firm character in specific conduct or practice related to certain profession.

If I want to be successful and excellent in continuously contributing ideas and thoughts through writing in blog, I have no other option but to be consistent in that profession. I need to be consistent in writing. I need to instill discipline in me in order to be consistent.

From real life examples, we can easily relate successful people in their specific areas to certain consistency in their behaviour.
For example:

  • Steve Jobs, the inventor of Apple computer, IMac and iPod, is well known of his consistency in creating new designs and ideas;
  • Siti Norhaliza, one of the most popular female singer in Malaysia and maintain her popularity until now, has been consistent in preserving her clean identity and behaviour;
  • Nicol David, who has succeeded in becoming the world woman squash champion, has been consistent in maintaining her stamina and performance.
There are many other successful people who you can easily identify his or her consistent behaviours relating to their success.
So, whatever it takes, I need to instill and inculcate this one quality - CONSISTENCY.

This has led me to complete writing this article.


Sunday, April 09, 2006

Increasing the Rate of Success by Learning from Others

Observing children's behaviour is very fascinating. The fact that children can learn and absorb very fast are because they are learning from others. While they observe and scrutinize adults' action and speech, they learn. The challenge is to provide them with right principles in life so that they learn the right behaviours.

Learning from others is actually a lifelong process.

I was travelling with a few friends recently. One thing good about travelling with friends, especially in long journey, is the opportunity to chat and discuss many personal stories and experience. It is even more interesting since all the friends were coming from various background and exposure in life and career. For a journey of 6-7 hours each direction, there were plentiful of subjects to talk about.

Without going into details of so many issues, good and bad stories, jokes, men's joke and opinions being talked about, learning from others through this kind of candid but interactive sessions can help us in increasing the rate of success in what we want to achieve:

  1. Personal family background can be a factor to achieve success - A well known example is about a successful businessman or stateman coming from a family that has the same success in those areas. Unless we really want to be successful in a totally different area, the family background can be helpful if we were to be successful in the same area;
  2. "Old stories" for others, new ideas for you - There were so many "old stories" being shared across in a candid and fun manners. In many cases, you may find that some of those "old stories" can be a refreshing new ideas for you to further explore and relate to what you are doing to achieve your personal goals;
  3. Generate new solutions from listening the problems of others - People will always have problems and challenges in their life. "To err is human" is a fact of life. Learning from others also means to listen to their problems and challenges and how they solve them. Talking and listening attentively to people is an enriching experience as we are learning or developing new solutions for the same problems and challenges that we may face in the future.
We need to create and grab opportunities which will allow us to listen and learn from others. Nowadays, many professional bodies and societies are organizing various regular functions allowing their members to network, interact, meet and talk to each others.

My recent travelling with friends in a long journey was another example of opportunity to listen, share and learn from others. By doing so, we may increase the rate of success by learning the right and proven formula and techniques.


Friday, April 07, 2006

A "Success" to Few, A Misery to Many?

I mentioned in one of my articles that success is relative and unique to a person, or a group of people.

Many of us may or may not realize that, as we are successful in certain undertakings, we may impart negative repercussion and impact to other people. A simple example is the robbers and corrupt people within our society.
For them, their success is measured on how much money and power they rob and usurp from the society they live in. Unfortunately, they have created miseries to the society as a whole. Among others:

  • There are fear, sense of insecure and distrust in the society;
  • They make life difficult to certain segment of the society;
  • The society has to bear the high cost of living by securing themselves.

Then we ask ourselves, is that really a success, to be successful as a robber or in corrupt practices? There are many people among us who really believe, or make it part of their belief system, that to rob and being corrupt are among many ways to achieve success.

A true success is a success not only achieved by an individual, but also shared and enjoyed by many. It's a win-win throughout. A successful business man and woman who is not only enjoy the wealth on his or her own, but also spend a portion of the wealth to be given back to the society. Success shall not breed selfishness and arrogance which may create hatred and uneasiness in the society.

So, if you want to be a successful person, the personal motto should be:

A Success to me, A success to many.


Thursday, April 06, 2006

After a Tough Time, There is Normally a Success

Imagine that a growing baby can speak to you of his or her experience learning to walk for the first time. He or she would tell you the hardship and tough time that he or she has to go through. There are so many hurdles and difficulties in reaching the stage where he or she can walk smoothly. There would be numerous times falling down and trying, hurting oneselves, kicking and breaking vases. Almost all babies have one thing in common, they never give up. They try and strive until they achieve the goal of growing - can walk! That's a big success at that stage.

For the baby, the journey to become a perfect man or woman will continue after successfully surpassing the very first hurdle to progress, that is being able to walk and later run.

Unfortunately, we as a grown man/woman, tend to forget this basic notion of survival. After a tough time, there is normally a success. Then there will be a tougher time, but with persistence and patience like any normal baby, there will be a bigger success.

To expect success come easy is a mere dream. We need to work for a success. It is while working towards it that we will normally face hardship and tough time. This will bring value to our success. It creates sense of achievement, satisfaction and feeling good that we have arrived at certain point in life and career.

If you have forgotten this basic notion, go and play with a baby and watch how persistent and patient he or she is.


Monday, April 03, 2006

Others Can Achieve Success Because of You

Frankly speaking, I am not that successful in my previous venture into business. Looking backward, these are possible reasons for the failure:
  • I was too young when I jumped into business world;
  • I was not well equipped with the new business world of Internet; and
  • I was driven by the hype of the internet business at that early stage (in 1996).
Recently, in my current company, I met a long time friend, the CEO of a company, who is providing IT solutions to my current company. It was an interesting moment when we chatted about our good and bad days in the fast changing internet business. However, he is still running his own company up till now, whereas, my early company through which I jumped into business has gone kaput.

I would say his company has been successful and expanding as he has been travelling to CeBIT and the Middle East to promote his solutions.

He told me one thing that I would never forget. He decided to involve into internet business when he saw the CEO of my early company appeared in the TV many times over, promoting the wonder of the Internet to life and business.

The only difference is that, he has been more successful in his business.

How do you feel when you are in that situation?

For me, thinking positively, I am still happy as I have been part of the factors for others to be successful. Don't be surprised that one day, we can be a more successful person from others within our circle of influence.


Sunday, April 02, 2006

Tips to Success - Share Your Success Story

I used to be a prolific writer.

This skill had been developed when I was still an undergrad student in a university in Sydney Australia, way back in 1986. Being an editor to a publication of a student body, I have written articles for the publication. Thanks to a senior friend who had inculcated into me the meticulous mindset when writing and publishing.

Recently, I have made a new friendship with one of well known bloggers in Malaysian scene. As we work together in the same company, he shared with me about his previous experience and later his well visited blog. He opened up to me his so-called "blogosphere" - the network of bloggers. To know this guy, go and visit his blog at

Blog is another great technology of the day. One thing that helps the progress of human being towards betterment is sharing of many things - experience, knowledge, information, wealth and anything that benefits everybody. I remember one motto that I adhere to, "We Care and We Share".

This "BrandMalaysia" blogger has shared with me a lot. While he is good in writing, he is also excellent in articulating and sharing ideas verbally. When somebody is willing enough to share, be it in writing and in verbal, it is an opportunity to learn and copy a good element in life - Success Story.

There are many companies who are making money from sharing success stories. Best practices are success stories and consultants are making their living through articulating and sharing these best practices. In many cases of my friendship with many people, successful ones are the ones who are very open in sharing their success stories. Sharing success stories also means sharing about failures and frustrations once upon a time in life and working. The motivation of undergoing failures is to learn so that they will not happen second time. Lesson learned is also a component of Best Practices.

Sharing success stories with your close allies is the manifestation that life - is a cycle. In many cases, to be successful also means to be ready to face hardship and challenges. Both are coexistent. It's like watching an action-packed movie which shows sad episodes, and later happy episodes unto the end.

So, what are we waiting for? Share your success story with your close friends and loved ones.


Tips to Success - For Everybody on This Planet

Finally, yes, finally.

I have made my decision to blog and share life experience that can bring success to everybody on this planet. I know that, myself and anybody else on this world, want to taste success in their life.

Success is subjective and relative uniquely to you. There are thousands of ways to measure success. For me, an ultimate success is when you achieve and deliver something in your life, you feel the peace of mind and at heart, the satisfaction, the achievement of purpose. It can be in anything and any format.

First of all, for us to be successful in our life, I believe that, it must start in our heart and mind. In both, we must instill continuously that we are born to be a successful human being. Another word, think positive about life and ourselves. A real success is when we achieve and attain a peacefulness in heart and mind.

Life is full of hurdles. For positive minds, they see the hurdles as challenges. For negative minds, they see them as burdens. Let's remember this acronym - WYTIWYS - What You Think is What You Set. I am lending this acronym from another popular acronym - WYSIWYG - What You See is What You Get. Let's become a positive WYTIWYS.

We are the positive WYTIWYS when we:
  • strive to set and sail our life in positive mode, most of the time:
  • see and interprete the world as full of success and less misery;
  • see and accept the people around us - partners, wife, husband, kids, families, friends, rivals, competitors - in positive manners;
  • solve all problems rather than talk about them. Let's not become NATO - No Action, Talk Only;
I know, you would say, it is easy said than done. I do agree with that. My question is, when we are in "deep shit", in trouble, in great pressure and in great danger, what should we do? There is only one way to SUCCESSfully overcome those challenges - thinking positively that we can overcome them. What happen if we cannot overcome and face consequences? We are still a successful person when we accept consequences with patience and taking it as another lesson learned.